by Bishop Bill Gohl
#MeToo is a social media movement that cuts a significant hole in the culture of silence. Unlike so many things that trend on social media that pass quickly from one day to the next as the series of natural disasters, gun violence, political posturing and news – both real and "fake" – bear down on us; the #MeToo movement has staying power. #MeToo has been more than viral, it has exposed sexual harassment and sexual assault as being as inevitable for women and femmes as the common cold.
I have read – and wept over – stories bravely shared in public space and the predictable blow-back from both men and women who have challenged the validity of the story, the "wisdom" of sharing and, worse, questioning whether the behavior named "rises to the level of harassment or assault." I have witnessed the very culture that's being challenged unfold again before my own eyes. There is to be no denying, ignoring, minimizing – it's been exposed and there is no explaining away what is the collective experience of nearly every significant female relationship in my own life and ministry.
Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident.
That reality has made me recognize that the thousands of #MeToo posts that have passed through my news feed this last week without explanation or story are the iceberg of which I have only seen the tip. I have glimpsed it through those who have put themselves out there again in public space to share their story, which has changed their lives and every relationship that came after, because of a culturally-condoned series of "boys will be boys" sins. The church has allowed this culture to fester like an unchecked, cancerous, open wound on the body of Christ. We have been outed, not only as a men who have misused, shamed, and pressured women for sexual gain; but a culture who have imposed sentence on those who have been abused:
And I was blamed for it. I was told not to talk about it. I was told that it wasn't that bad. I was told to get over it. Najwa Zebian, @najwazebian |
One thing I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple.
For me, Church has always been a safe place. Sheltering from the meanness of the world, affirming of the ways God has gifted me, a place where I could be in conversation that challenged me and allowed me to challenge others. That is not a universal experience. Sexual harassment and assault happens in the church, though it is often more subtle; and the brave people among us who name or challenge it are often named as liars or the even more insidious "overly sensitive." Condescension and patronization are rampant in the church and puts others at an increased vulnerability to men who exploit that culture for themselves. Power and its misuse can't be explained away, or excused – but it happens over and over again, even when the abuse is exposed. Sin compounded by complicity.
Do not give me up to the will of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen against me, and they are breathing out violence.
Moreover, in the face of overwhelming witness, if we can't name and address the sexual abuse in our siblings' past, then we are not equipped to address its reality in the present. We capriciously dismiss those who name unsolicited touch, wandering eyes and demeaning comments; the double-entendre, inappropriate touch and innuendo are "making a mountain out of a molehill." I know, because I've done that. I've explained away other men's behavior to women who have trusted me; and excused my own when it has been called out to me.
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
What #MeToo has made clear to me is that sexual harassment and assault is still ascendant in the culture and the church. And more than listening or praying, we need to address the harm in our community, and to create genuine safe places for stories to be shared – and believed – and a renewed commitment to change, beginning with me, too.
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When evildoers assail me to devour my flesh—my adversaries and foes—they shall stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident. One thing I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will set me high on a rock. Now my head is lifted up above my enemies all around me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the Lord. Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud, be gracious to me and answer me! "Come," my heart says, "seek his face!" Your face, Lord, do I seek. Do not hide your face from me. Do not turn your servant away in anger, you who have been my help. Do not cast me off, do not forsake me, O God of my salvation! If my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up. Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies. Do not give me up to the will of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen against me, and they are breathing out violence. I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! – Psalm 27